The Last Farewell
by tilinelson2
Summary: The last farewell of a tortured soul filled with grief and regret to his beloved one.


Light drizzle started pouring down near the sunset. The small drops were just enough to lift the dust from the rocky ground. Dust that the wind blew, forming a small curtain of sand in the atmosphere. Braving this harsh environment, there was an old man in a hooded cloak, slowly walking, supported by a wooden cane. His left hand was concealed inside his cloak. The outskirts of the small town were empty at that time, but the man insisted in his solitary journey. In front of him, there were a few stone slabs, most of them eroding for being submitted to the harsh weather conditions for years and years. It didn't matter much to the man whose white beard was the only noticeable part of him face, concealed inside the cloak's hood, in order to protect him from the sand particles and the annoying drops of rain. He was not able to read the blurred inscriptions in the stones. Besides, he seemed to know very well where he was heading to because, although advancing slowly because of his weak and limping legs, he didn't hesitate for a moment.

Stopping in front of one of the most decayed stones, the old man took out his hood, as the dust started being dissipated by the light rain. The drops of water didn't annoy him much, for the day has been very hot, especially for him who was used to colder climates. In silence, the old man silently observed the grave. There was no visible inscription anywhere. Probably the grave had not been visited for years, or even decades. It was sad to think that no one cared to pay a homage to the person whose remains were buried underground. Memories fade away as the time advances, and there was a good chance that both that person and the old man himself would be forgotten in some decades.

The old man took his left hand out of his cloak, and deposited the small bouquet of flowers he was carefully holding beside the stone slab. "It has been a long time, my dear..." Suppressing a tear, the man stood staring at the grave, completely in silence. There was nothing to be said or done, and the silence was a sign of respect, and even adoration. In the quiet solitude of the empty rocky field, the man found the peace he needed to talk straight to the soul of his deceased interlocutor. There were no answers, obviously, but deep inside his heart, the man felt as if he was being answered by his long lost companion. Besides, in silence, the overflow of past memories and emotions was more intense, and although his age was advanced and the doctors would recommend him to avoid undergoing such intense experiences for the sake of his heart's health, he felt that he needed to go through this emotional moment. Otherwise, he would not have bothered traveling to such a distant place only to deposit a small bouquet in a grave. He knew better that exterior attitudes meant nothing, and he didn't want to prove anything to anyone. His only business there was with the person he was trying to communicate with.

"It feels like it had happened yesterday..." The old man cut short his own observation before he broke down in tears. As he closed his eyes, the memories of his valued companion came to his mind, so lively that had he been a fool, he would have mistaken then for true. Memories from a tender age, when he was nothing more than a teenager, trying to make his own way in life. Memories of the first time he had caught a glimpse of the brown-haired girl, so unremarkable at the time. Then, trying to order the random images that came to his conscious mind, as a desperate technician trying to fix a movie reel whose negative was cut frame-by-frame and scrambled, the old man started remembering the days they have shared together, both maturing in their professional interests, in their views of life, and in love. How those moments, fueled by the uncontrollable teenage desire, had been so special for them both. It had been his first glimpse of heaven, and for what she had told him, it had been her first glimpse of heaven too, in that passionate relationship. Like Adam and Eve, the two lovers lived in a world of their own, a garden of earthly delights, where only her and him existed, blessed by the love of Great Light. Unfortunately, like the legendary first human couple, their blissful existence was fated to a brisk end. It was not the original sin that made them fall, but their own obligations and interests in life. Although that passionate life had been magical, life was not just enjoyment, their existences were not meant only to enjoy the pleasures the world could provide them. There were so many things out there that they could not stay impassive, hiding in their shells, as if the world had started and ended with them. Especially him, who knew the heavy burden he had been entitled to carry. And he was not inclined to surrender his responsibility with the whole mankind for the selfish satisfaction of his pleasures. He felt that there was something deeper than just a juvenile passion, but he was also aware that that was not the right moment to pursue the complete fulfillment of his life in love. As their paths, which have converged by accident, were now diverging, he left, not without shedding an ocean of tears and proffering infinite promises of returning one day.

"How I wish... I could... go back..." Not being able to resist the urge of crying, the old men let the tears roll through the wrinkles of his face. He cried in silence, his feelings hardened on his experiences of live, where always collected, almost in perfect equilibrium.

The years had passed and their next encounter had been by accident. The old feelings, which were dormant inside his heart, came back with full force, as if his soul had been set ablaze. Ten years older, and a fully grown man, he was sure that the feeling was stronger than ever, built on solid foundations. It could be only the effect of the long absence, but he somehow knew it was something else. She looked prettier, smarter, and much maturer. She even looked more mature than him, for she asked him to hold his feelings at the bay. He suffered a lot that then, but ultimately understood her point of view. As it had been in the past, there were much more important things happening around them, which involved the lives of the others. There was no time to think only about themselves. If the love was true, it was eternal, so there would be no problems in waiting. If it was not, time would tell them. So, they were together again, bound by duty, but also by love. However, either duty or impatience had separated them.

The next meeting... "Oh, the next meeting..." It was already too late. When they met again, it was only enough to hear her say her last goodbye. It was only to realize he would never be able to live his dream, he would never be in paradise again. He would always be tormented, not only by the absence of the love of his life by his side, but also by the uncertainty. The guilty of leaving, when he could have stayed. The decision that may have sealed their fate. "Oh, my love, forgive me... forgive me..." The old men broke down in tears and fell on his knees. "If I knew... I would have done... it would have been different..." In his loneliness, there were no ears to hear his desperate cries, and he was thankful for that, because any interference would destroy the intense bond between their souls.

Calming down a bit, the old man stood up, and wiped the tears from his eyes. "You know... I tried... I tried..." Breathing deeply, the old man realized it was over. Suddenly, he was back again, just an old man standing in front of a stone, marking the place where the remains of someone long gone were buried. He also knew that it had been the last time. Due to his advanced age, and the distance between his home and her final resting place, his deteriorating health could not afford such a trip again. It was his time to say his last farewell, with only the dark sky sparkled with faint yellow lights of unaccountable stars and worlds like that one as witness.

"Farewell, my love. That will be the last time..." The old man sighed deeply. "But I'll always take you in my heart with me as long as I breathe..." Then, turning back, and carrying the grief of the whole universe on his shoulders, he added. "And for all the eternity... Alys..."

It was the time to think about his duties. He was about to retire permanently, and it was time to pass the torch to the newer generation, as his distinct position among the humans demanded from him, keeping the heritage of Lutz alive. It was time to accept that his time had come, and prepare himself for the only certainty of life. So, he put covered his head with his hood again, although there was no need to do it anymore, as it had already stopped to rain. And, walking away in silence, he left. When he was far enough, he looked back and the grave stone was just a blur in the horizon. He felt the need to add a last sentence. "If Great Light is merciful enough, as they say, and bless us with an eternal life after this earthly journey, I hope you still love me the way you used to do. And that can forgive me, so we can live the love we were not allowed to live here. Because I know that I don't deserve your love, Alys, but I know what is within my heart, and you surely deserve to receive all this. And more."


End file.
